We are human, and being human means experiencing joy, pain, change, loss, and everything in between. But what if gratitude could help us move through those experiences differently? This article explores the role of gratitude and healing, not as a way to deny difficulty, but as a way to notice what remains meaningful even while life is hard.
Key Takeaways
- Gratitude brings us back to the present.
- Small, ordinary moments can carry great meaning.
- Gratitude does not mean ignoring pain.
- Difficult experiences can reshape our perspective.
- Practising gratitude does not need to be complicated.
Why Do We Forget to Appreciate What We Have?
The human condition comes with its own advantages and challenges. We experience difficult times, but perhaps it is partly because we know difficulty that we can recognise moments of happiness. There is a kind of yin and yang to existence: opposites that allow us to experience life in its full range of colours.
We also create little bubbles around ourselves. We make plans, organise our calendars and often live as though time were unlimited. Usually, it takes something unexpected – a loss, an illness, or a sudden change – to remind us that each day is not guaranteed. For a while, phrases such as “life is short” suddenly make complete sense. Then everyday life returns: work, relationships, responsibilities, appointments and endless lists of things to do.
So, how often during an ordinary day do we really stop to appreciate what we have?
Gratitude Is Often Found in Ordinary Things
I am not necessarily talking about wealth, an expensive car, or an amazing job. Those things can be appreciated if we are fortunate enough to have them. I mean something much smaller: opening your eyes in the morning, the smell of coffee, a peaceful cup of tea, the touch of your partner or your pet, or even the keyboard beneath your fingers while you work.
Sometimes gratitude is simply noticing what our bodies allow us to do. Our hands create and communicate. Our legs carry us. Our lungs breathe without us reminding them. Our heart continues doing its quiet work. These things are so ordinary that we rarely think about them until something changes.
Then there is everything outside ourselves. How often do we consciously appreciate the sounds around us, the people who care about us, or the fact that we have another day in which we might do something meaningful for ourselves or someone else? I do not stop and think about these things every day either. In the rush of ordinary life, it is easy to forget how extraordinary some of its smallest pieces really are.
Gratitude Does Not Mean Pretending Everything Is Fine
This distinction matters when talking about gratitude and healing. Being grateful does not mean denying sadness, anger, grief, disappointment, or pain. Gratitude should not become another demand we place on ourselves: “I should be grateful, so I am not allowed to be upset.”
Both experiences can exist at the same time. We can be grieving and still notice something beautiful. We can feel exhausted and still appreciate someone who checked on us. We can dislike what is happening while recognising that the experience may eventually teach us something about ourselves.
Difficult periods can shape our identity. They may reveal versions of ourselves we had not met before and show us what needs to change. Even when we feel that we have reached the bottom, a different perspective can slowly begin to emerge.
What Psychology Says About Gratitude
Gratitude is far from a new idea. Emmons and Shelton (2002) describe it as a longstanding human experience that appears across cultures and traditions, while also recognising that the way gratitude is expressed can vary. They connect gratitude with feelings of thankfulness, appreciation and wonder.
Philosophical work also shows that gratitude is not a single, simple experience. Manela (2016), for example, distinguishes between being grateful to someone for something they have done and being grateful that something good exists or has happened. Carr (2013) similarly explores different forms of gratitude, helping to show why appreciation can be directed toward people, circumstances, or life itself.
Positive psychology has examined gratitude in relation to well-being and human flourishing. Gulliford, Morgan and Kristjánsson (2013) describe gratitude as a concept that sits between philosophy and psychology, where it can be understood as an emotion, a response to benefits received and, in some accounts, a character virtue.
Research has also looked at gratitude in the brain. Kini et al. (2016) used functional magnetic resonance imaging after a gratitude-writing intervention. Their findings suggested that gratitude expression was associated with activity in brain regions involved in cognitive and social processing, and that greater gratitude-related neural sensitivity was still observable three months later. This does not mean gratitude is a treatment by itself, but it offers an interesting view of the processes involved.
Gratitude has also been examined through Maslow’s theory of motivation. Nguyen and Gordon (2022) found that people expressed gratitude for both deficiency needs, such as safety and necessities, and growth needs, such as opportunities for development. Their study also found a higher frequency of gratitude for growth opportunities during the COVID-19 pandemic than two years earlier. Together, this research suggests that gratitude may be one way people recognise meaning, support and possibility during difficult periods.
“The most fortunate are those who have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy.”
― Abraham Maslow (Toward a Psychology of Being, 1962).
A Taoist Approach: Knowing When Enough Is Enough
One philosophy I personally like comes from Taoist thinking and the idea of Zhi Zu – “knowing sufficiency”, or recognising when enough is enough. Rather than constantly adding things we should be grateful for, this approach asks us to reconsider our relationship with wanting and to notice what is already present (Taoism & Manifest, 2026).
Inspired by this idea, gratitude can be practised very simply:
- Notice something you already have instead of immediately focusing on what is missing.
- Try not to fight every uncomfortable moment; allow some experiences to pass.
- Bring your attention back to where you are right now.
- Take a slow breath and notice the present moment.
- Walk outside and observe your surroundings without needing to change anything.
- At the end of the day, ask yourself: What did I appreciate today? What is already enough?
This is not a recipe for avoiding pain. It is simply a way of making space for what is still here.
Gratitude and Healing: A Small Daily Choice
Gratitude will not erase pain, fix every problem or turn difficult experiences into pleasant ones. What it can do is remind us that pain is rarely the whole picture. Healing may begin with something very small: noticing what remains, appreciating the present and recognising that today still contains something worth experiencing.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can gratitude really help with healing?
Gratitude can support emotional well-being by encouraging attention toward positive or meaningful aspects of life. It is best understood as one supportive practice, not as a replacement for therapy, medical treatment, or professional care.
Do I have to feel grateful when I am going through something painful?
No. Gratitude should never become an obligation. You can experience grief, anger, fear, or frustration while also noticing moments of comfort, care, or connection.
What is the easiest way to start practising gratitude?
Start very small. At the end of the day, identify one thing you appreciated. It might be a conversation, a meal, your pet, a quiet moment, or simply having made it through a difficult day.
What if I cannot think of anything to be grateful for?
Do not force it. Some days are genuinely hard. Instead of searching for something profound, notice something neutral and immediate: a warm drink, a comfortable chair, a familiar sound, or a single calm breath.
